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Do You Use These 7 Defences?
How our mind distorts our reality
We all have defences that distort our reality. To grow as leaders, we need to increase our self-awareness. Knowing our defences is a great first step. Here are the most common:
1. Avoidance or Denial
A coaching client of mine was stressed about money. But, she kept postponing doing a budget to clarify how much she needed. I was definitely in denial about the severity of Covid last February. Do you avoid facing the stuff that stresses you?
2. Numbness
Many of us numb our emotions with food, nicotine, Netflix, or alcohol. We try to numb our pain. The problem is that numbness does not work only one way. If you do not feel the pain, you will not feel the joy either. Counterintuitively, often the best way to release the pain is to lean into it.
3. Displacement
You get angry at your boss, but you displace your anger to your kids. You get angry at your kids, but you displace your anger to your spouse. Displacement happens more often than we realize.
4. Projection
Years ago, I had an emotional reaction towards a mom who was not spending much time with her children. I discussed this with my coaching…
