Thank you for the very thoughtful response. I agree with everything you said. I also dislike gory television; my husband watches Game of Thrones and Narcos on his own :-)
Fighting needs to be approached both rationally and emotionally. Usually, the strong emotions are the ones that ring the bell that something is important to us. We need to recognize those emotions and accept them. Also, express them in a healthy way rather than suppress them.
It is not always obvious what the real issue is. We may say to someone that our problem is that they left the cupboards open, but that is not what creates the intense emotions. It may be that we think they are not paying attention to our needs, do not listen, etc. Only through discussion, we can get to the bottom of it.